Sex & Relationships

Spoiled Rotten



A year ago my life was deteriorating before my eyes. My engagement and relationship came to an abrupt end, my business was failing, and my self-worth was at an all time low. Yet, everything that happened last year was incredibly important and crucial for my current success and happiness. While I don’t believe in luck or coincidence, the events that proceeded to unfold are truly unbelievable to me.

Looking back on that time a year later, I can’t even recognize that person or life. I was a shell of my former, confident self, as I believed I wasn’t good enough in many ways. Money had always been a point of contention in my relationship with my ex so while in the wake of our break-up, when she posted that “Real men spoil their women,” I was not surprised, though it still felt like salt on the wound. That post will forever be a catalyst for change and speaks volumes about the type of person she really was. It was more evidence that our relationship was destined to fail and that the love I had to give was not enough in her eyes.

Since that time, I have worked tirelessly to rebuild my life one day at a time. If you’ve read any of my past posts you know that weekly rituals of contemplation coupled with self-reflection brought me back to life. Once I found myself again, I was able to open my heart and before I knew it, I was in love again. However, I owe this love, in part, to my ex who is indirectly responsible for my new relationship. A year ago, my ex and I were meeting a friend at SOHO House for dinner when I inquired about getting my CrossFit gym involved with their members. After a few months of negotiations, I got a monthly SOHO member class created at my gym and guess who came to the first one?

For the past 6 months, I’ve found in her, a woman who is sexy, beautiful and smart and shares my vision and passion for life. With me in mind, she recently posted “A beautiful heart can bring things into your life that all the money in world couldn’t obtain.” What a glaring contrast to my past! This sentiment confirmed what I had already believed in my heart; we found each other and are supposed to be together.

Now, I know that phrase gets thrown around lot. Shit, I said it to my ex in an effort to keep us together despite the writing on the wall. Yet, what I’ve learned that phrase really means is that I’ve found the right person, at the right time, who wants the same things as I do for the right reasons. When all of those conditions are met, you’re “supposed to be together.” As soon as any one of those fails to be true, you’re not. This is what I failed to understand before but what has now assured me that this time around is different.

Through hard work, I’ve been able to recalibrate both my personal and professional life and place myself on a promising trajectory once again. If someone had told me then that I would be happier now than I’ve ever been, I would not and emotionally could not have believed it. Have faith that everything is happening as it should and become an active participant in the next chapter of your life as you too have a beautiful heart that will bring you everything you’ve ever wanted and needed if you allow it to. And as for me, right now I’m fucking spoiled rotten!

By Brian Jaffe

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