1. Just because we made out with you in a parking lot once doesn’t mean we want to have your children.
2. The only way we will send “selfies” or any other kind of “picture” to you is if we take it 25 times, delete them all and then reconsider by (insert work excuse here).
3. Fine. Chivalry is dead BUT the only time we expect you to pay is on the first date. If you can’t handle even that much then perhaps society is doomed.
4. We get over things quicker than you do. If you wait more than three days to text us after a date we have already moved on to the cute new guy in marketing.
5. Yes we Googled you. Get over it.
6. Oh, we also found your Instagram account but we will refuse to follow you. We’ll just like every single picture of you and your dog until you follow us first.
7. We have schedules. If you are calling us last minute to grab a drink on a weeknight chances are:
-We’re already on our couch in our pajamas with a pint of ice cream and The Real Housewives.
-Sweaty from a yoga class.
-Disinterested in your lack of effort.
-All of the above.
8. We know you secretly like the new Beyonce album. So I’m just going to play it on repeat if you are making me drive…
9. We’re not going to keep reaching out to you. You get one free pass, then, like I said earlier… marketing hottie.
10. We get that you’re probably texting other girls so just have the decency to do it when we aren’t looking. 😉
11. If you could not sleepover on a weekday we would REALLY appreciate that.
12. You can stop using the “I’m sick” excuse. Unless sick is the new term for “out drinking with my boys”. Then we hope it’s swine flu.
13. If we forgot something at your place, it does not mean we are trying to move in… it means we forgot something at your place…
14. You should just let us in your stupid fantasy football league. It makes us feel hot and you make money off of us. So shut up.
15. Most women can still cook, really well. We have just evolved to know that this is something we need to use as leverage… actually same thing with sex.
By Lori Gottlieb