Why do we feel like we have to control everything and then get let down when things don’t go our way? We create enormous expectations and build things up in our heads only to be disappointed later. We have this insane ability as humans to assume that the world always works in conjunction with our every desire, wish, and thought when quite the opposite is true. Now, I’m not trying to be a skeptic and say that the universe rules against us. In fact, I believe in the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction. I know that our thoughts become our actions, which ultimately steer our destiny. I’m a big Tony Robbins fan and Deepak is my boy.
What I’m referring to is our day-to-day neurosis. The human ego, a delicate structure, creates this state of infantile omnipotence or as it’s more commonly known, a G-d complex. Essentially, we believe we are all-powerful beings that have the ability to control situations and events that are far out of our reach. This pseudo-certainty is what keeps us sane, for if we really thought about the enormity of the universe and our place in it, we may just have a nervous breakdown.
However, we can control how we behave, how we compose ourselves, and what we choose to do on a daily basis. We can put one foot in front of the other; create a plan of action, hope, want, and dream. Yet, all of this can be for not, for in our infantile omnipotence we often forget, one simple little truth; we are not alone in this world. A comforting notion on the best of days, I know, but a truism that has all the consequences that go with it. Remember Newton’s third law? Yes, that one.
We inhabit this journey called life with those we’re lucky enough to meet but we cannot control what they do, and it would be folly to believe that we can. Even with careful planning, preparation and abundant resources, we live in a world full of chaos, of inexplicable variability that instead of being disappointed when our plans fall through, we should be totally and utterly amazed when the stars align just enough that another person shares our vision to help fulfill our desires. What we call “luck”.
Despite the chaos, I try and keep my focus on the thoughts and actions that I can control and not let my assumptions about others and situations get the best of me.
I’ve learned this lesson firsthand through disappointments and heartbreak, but it has enabled me to better avoid such hardships in the future. I know that by doing the “leg work” and putting myself in a good position to succeed, I can help make my own luck, a very comforting notion.
We live in an often complicated, messy and, at times, ugly world but the beauty that is apparent in all of us is what can drive us to work together to accomplish big goals and solve our toughest problems. When we can let go of our human need to control our situation and just accept that we have very little control, we will inevitably begin to live in harmony with our environment and become far more abundant than we ever thought possible. By being humble, letting go of our egos, and realizing that we may not always get what we want, we just may end up getting what we deserve instead.
By Brian Jaffe