Friendship: The Good, the Bad, and the Best

“There are people who take the heart out of you. And there are people who put it back in.” – Elizabeth David

There was a time in 2013 that I felt so lost, alone and sad, mostly because a few of my very significant relationships had changed. And I wont lie, it took a few months to finally feel at peace with many parts of my life, and to accept that everything happens for a reason. I can strongly say that now, I feel amazing being able to finally stop focusing on the things that I can’t change and the things I have no control over. I feel like a new person and I feel free from a lot of things that were holding me back.

The biggest lesson I learned last year is how important it is to surround myself with people that care about me, not just people that I care about. Friendship, love, relationships, they are all a two way street. There is no true friendship when it is one sided. There can be no successful relationship, unless there is a give and take.

I’ve weeded out a lot of negative energy in my life, and tried to fill it with positive vibes, supportive people, and so much love. People that lift me up, not bring me down. People that I connect with. People that are smarter than me and work harder than me, and push me to be like them. People that truly care about other things besides themselves and their own personal success and growth.

This is NOT an easy thing to do. It’s taken me 26 years to learn a lot of these rules, and I’m still learning. Change can be really hard, and it’s something that I personally struggle with every day. I don’t do well with change. I don’t accept change as easily as others. I am constantly trying to figure out where the change came from and why it happened. But like I said, I’m learning to stop focusing on things I don’t have control over.

I’ve also realized how important it is to maintain relationships with people, even when you are 3,000 miles away. Some of the most important friendships and relationships I have are with people who don’t even live in the same city, let alone the same state. As I get older, I appreciate those relationships more than ever before. Pick up the phone, facetime, write a letter, send a snap chat… but let the people you love know how much you care, every single day. There are some people that are worth holding on to for dear life, but they might require more effort because they are farther away and not right in front of you. But don’t let that stop you from having a relationship with them. You can NOT let it stop you.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo. But what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

I used to spend time worrying about these kinds of people, but I’ve been lucky enough in my life to also find people who don’t care about the limo. I found people who went above and beyond to make sure I got home to see my brother in the hospital when he was sick. I have people in my life that helped me pack up my life and move into a new apartment, for days, no questions asked. I have a team that works on QLC day and night, and supporters that tweet and Facebook the crap out of our posts, to help promote the blog, because they understand the importance to me. These people.. they just get it. And they are my LIFE.

Relationships are hard. Friendship is hard. But nothing good in life comes easy. If it’s easy, it’s probably not worth it. And the ones that matter are the people who fight tooth and nail to keep you around.

By Alex Devlin

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