Lifestyle / QLC

The Complete Guide to Moving: A Procrastination Story

Let’s start off with a little back-story information on why I am a moving guru. I am nearing my fourth year living in Los Angeles. This weekend I am making my seventh move in that time frame.

Yes, you read that right. 7th move! Am I running from something? Nope. I see it as running towards newness and adventure. (That may be a bit delusional).  Perhaps I’m just antsy and I’m afraid to feel too settled down. If I live in a place for more than a year does that mean I’ll get comfortable. I’ve had some mishaps in the past. (The suburbia that is Burbank was not the place for me. Nor was that tiny studio with no kitchen in Beverly Hills. I truly thought that it would push me to eat more salads since I wouldn’t be able to cook. Instead I was on a first name basis with my Pizza Hut delivery guy, Ramon).  A positive of all this moving is that I have gotten to know the vast area of Los Angeles really well.  I can hold my own in real life versions of the SNL sketch, “The Californians.” Even better than knowing that Laurel Canyon is the best way to get to West Hollywood from the valley especially in rush hour traffic, is that I know the ins and outs of the perfect move (not!) The following guide is best described as what not to do. However I keep doing it anyways.

7 Days Prior to Moving: Talk about the idea of getting some boxes. Does anyone you know have any? You know that your parents down in the South Bay have a bunch in their storage unit. You want them but don’t have the time to go down and get them. Internally have a debate on the cost of moving industry. Why should I have to spend all that money on just cardboard that will eventually be thrown away? There’s some at work but you don’t feel like carrying them to the elevator and then down to your car. Instead decide to go shopping for shoes. Shoes are always the answer.

6 Days Prior to Moving: Avoid all thoughts of moving by going to a Tap-robics class.

5 Days Prior to Moving Continue with the avoidance of your upcoming deadline by going to a Katy Perry and Friends concert at the Hollywood Bowl. Get drunk on 100 proof vodka and decide that Sara Bareilles is destined to be your bestie. (Seriously if anyone knows her please hook a homie up).

2 Days Prior to Moving: Okay, the boxes are now in your possession. Phew. You really should start putting some stuff in them. But you know that you have a lot of stuff in your DVR. Cleaning that is really important. You will lose all those valuable shows like Long Island Medium and those 9 episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Settle in with the reunion of Project Runway. Tim Gunn always makes you happy. You have plenty of time to “Make it Work.”

1 Day Prior to Moving: Crap! This is a make it or break it moment.  Why didn’t you start until today? Haven’t you learned by now that it’s easier to pack a little over time? Beg your parents to come to your rescue.

Day of Moving: Frantically run around packing the last minute things while waiting for the movers to come. Be so grateful when you watch them lift your stuff from your second floor apartment to second floor apartment. Make a promise to yourself that you won’t move any time soon and try to put some roots down.

Whenever Lease is Up: Decide that you should move again. Moving isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I will be so on top of it this time…

By Jennifer Dowding

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