One thing that has become increasingly difficult since picking up and moving out west is staying in touch with my friends. It is not really difficult as more as it is different. Before I moved out to LA I had a regular 8:00am-6:00pm job, with ample time to look like I was working and just sit at my desk and talk to my friends on Gchat. And now that I don’t have that set schedule it is a lot different in order to keep in touch with my friends than it was ever before this.
I grew up in around Boston and went to college down in Virginia, so my friends are a little spread out. My friends either live in Boston, New York City, Baltimore/DC area, and one who I don’t even know where he lives… see how good a friend I am, one of my best friends, no clue where he actually lives at the moment. Everyone is spread out, so it wasn’t like we get to see each other every weekend anyway.
We were good at getting together in one of our stupid friend’s city for a weekend every few months to see each other, and it was a great drunken filled mess of a time. I love those weekends where you’d think we’d be all happy to see each other and say great things, but it turns into bashing each other’s past and what they have turned into, it is pretty awesome. We always kept in touch though because we’d talk all the time, despite it being hard to see one another. Then I chose to be an asshole and move to LA so it got different.
I am the asshole for moving out here because I don’t get to talk to them as much as I once did. Obviously I don’t regret moving out here, but it is just different to talk to my friends now. It is not like we have all changed; I still act like an idiot (mostly around woman), they laugh, I make fun of them, and they make fun of me, it is a truly is the exact same. The only difference is now we have completely different schedules. First there is a three hour time difference, so on a good day if I get up early they have already been at work for four hours. And no one wants to hear when they’ve been at work for four hours “Yeah dude just woke up” even if there is a time change. Then I go out until around 2 am doing sets and by the time I fall asleep they are getting up for work. It is shitty timing.
Once this starts with not talking as much as you used too, and time builds greater and greater in between, then it feels different trying to contact them. That feeling of Oh shit, I haven’t talked to them in a while the first few minutes could be awkward sets in so you put it off more.
I wish I could write in this space I have some sort of solution for this but I really don’t. I am a shitty communicator. I still love my friends but am I going to call them right away after this to talk to them, probably not, that’s stupid. I might call them one night when I’m drunk to rehash some old story, but not sober to just normally talk, that’d be weird.
Did you like that justification? Because it makes no logical sense. That is how it is, we may talk less but it doesn’t change the fact we’re still good friends and I would still take a bullet for them.
The fact that this happened and I have been able to deal with it and know that they’re still my friends despite all this I think is a good thing. Because when one of my idiot friends decides he wants to get married or truly end his life with having a child, I’ll know they’re still my friends despite our lives changing.
I think someone called it “shedding friends” but I don’t like that term because they were my friends for a reason; I actually like them. I just so happen to be shitty at communicating and staying in touch with them, that’s all.
By Curtis Spiliotis