I was asked three separate times this week if I was seeing anyone. When I answered no, they all had the quick, same reply. “Why?”
Does there need to be a reason why I’m single? I didn’t think so, but recently I’ve been feeling like I need to explain to people why I’m single. Like it’s a big choice I made not to date. Well my friends, that’s not the case.
A lot of people I know are getting married now. I can’t log onto Facebook without seeing a picture of a girl from high school or college walking down the aisle or having a baby. I am not knocking those people. I think that’s amazing that they have found the person that they want to spend their lives with and have babies with. I envy some of those people.
But even with all of that, I never felt pressure to be in the same place as they are. I can’t really imagine my life at this point married. And I’m sure that some of those girls with their babies and their husbands have days where they wished they were single, living in the city, working crazy hours, with no time to find Mr. Right. The grass is always greener somewhere!
But now that people are actually asking me why I’m single and drawing attention to it, I’m starting to feel pressure in finding the right answer. I’ve used, “I’m too busy to date,” and I’ve heard that’s a cop out. I’ve used, “I just haven’t found the right guy,” and that gets turned into I’m not trying hard enough. But even after listing those excuses and getting backlash, I still, do not feel like I should need to make up excuses. I’m just single. There is no reason, and I’m really fine with it. What I’m not fine with is other people making me feel like I need a reason.
I’m in a place in my life where I truly AM busy. I’m truly busy discovering who I am and who I want to be. And I can’t necessarily do that with someone around all the time. Do I want to be in love? Of course. But I don’t want just any guy. I want the right guy. And if that means waiting a little longer to find him, then so be it. I’m not in a rush.
So if you’re wondering why I am single… there it is. It’s pretty basic. In fact, it’s pretty 26 of me.
By Alex Devlin