Starting today, the dapper Damien Galt will be answering all our (and your!) questions about sex, relationships, dating, and more … from a guy’s perspective. We start with a question that’s often on the forefront of us city gals’ minds:
Question: Do you think that guys living in cities like LA and NYC are bigger commitment-phobes than others? Do you think its harder to date in a big city?
Answer: When people contemplate the difficulty of dating in a big city the question needs to be answered in two ways:
Is it hard? NO. The shear density of these cities and volume of peoples’ interactions means you don’t actually want to date if you’re not dating. It means you need to stop being a little bitch or be bit more open minded, be pro-active, talk to people, be direct or at least somewhat overt when you want something- GUYS LOVE THAT. Be okay with some rejection and just move on to the next one. “Love” (whatever that even means) follows the laws of serendipitous collisions like little atoms bouncing around, every single collision leading up to the only one that counts is in fact NOT a fit. This has a couple implications- Don’t worry about failed attempts regardless of whether it’s getting straight shut down or if it’s that we went on two dates, explored it a bit and it wasn’t right just have some fun along the way. Move on to the next prospect and guess what…you’re in a big dense city so you might bump into the next candidate when getting you’re next pressed juice or whatever. These are just the realities of dating.Now, the quality of dating or the commitment that comes with it in a big cities is a whole different story. There are so many options and new people coming across your path that everyone, guys and girls alike, are always on the prowl for the next best thing. You start wanting someone that’s cool and the next thing you know it you are thinking how much cooler it would be if they were Australian or of royal lineage or maybe if they just had a house in the Hampton’s…..and then you think to yourself…”What about that girl Kate I met last week, she’s always Instagramming….” #hamptons #marryrich #pedigree…..you get the idea.
Besides, there’s no downtime in these big cities so it’s not like you must date to have companionship like our high school friends who stayed in the Midwest, got married, popped out a few kids and are now hunkered down. Options: the enemy of commitment, but a gift to those who just want to have some fucking fun.
By Damien Galt
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