I am currently in a long distance relationship. I live in Los Angeles and my boyfriend lives in Boston. I not going to lie; it’s hard, really hard. There are good weeks and bad weeks when maintaining a long distance relationship.
There has been a lot of crying, stupid fights, and a lot of phone calls. Each week is a struggle but if you love someone, it is worth it. If I had the choice, I would most definitely not be in a long distance relationship, but this is life and we don’t always get what we want!
The past six months have been a learning experience for me. I have learned a lot about my relationship and myself. I now have a better idea of what I got myself into and how to make it out on the other side. Here are some of the methods for success I’ve picked up along the way:
- Make sure you have a solid foundation. You need to know how to communicate and trust one another. If there is no trust the relationship will most likely not survive the distance. It isn’t impossible but a new relationship can be hard to maintain when you live hours away from each other.
- Utilize your cell phone and make sure you have a good plan! When you live apart from one another you will begin to rely on your phone. It is the one thing that I do not think I could live without. I am constantly texting and calling my boyfriend. Without my phone I would almost never get to speak to him.
- Do not be jealous. Jealousy is a nasty trait and will ultimately distance your significant other from you emotionally. Chances are the more you act jealous the less they will tell you about their life, therefore putting physical and emotional distance in your relationship.
- Communication. It is important to constantly be communicating. Tell your boyfriend when you are not happy. Make sure you express your feelings keeping them bottled up is a recipe for disaster.
- Schedule visits in advance. Scheduling time to see each other is important. You need to make plans so that you don’t get too caught up in life or work to see each other. It is very hard to maintain a happy healthy relationship through Skype dates alone.
- Go into lovey dovey over-drive. Cards, flowers, having take out delivered to their house; it’s the little things that count. Being away from each other is hard but a little note in the mail is sure to put a smile on their face. There is nothing better than getting a little reminder that the person you care about is thinking about you.
I’m not saying that if you follow these guidelines that you wont have fights or hard days, because you will. These guidelines are merely to help make the road a little less bumpy. Long distance relationships suck but with a lot of time and effort it can be done. Like everything in life, this is probably just a phase and it will be over before you know it.
By Paige Sullivan
[photo credit: Madame Noir]