QLC / Tips & Tricks

A Friendly Ego Check

If your parents were anything like mine, you spent the first 22 years of your life hearing that you were some kind of mix of Jesus and Thomas Edison, capable of achieving anything you wanted and a constant inspiration to others.

Well, that’s bullshit. You want to know why your parents think you’re Moses meets Tesla? Because THEY made you and they think they’re AWESOME. The truth of the matter is, in the real world, no one thinks you’re special. Let me repeat that: no one gives a shit about you, they only care about what you can do, who you know, and what you know (in that order).

So, in the REAL WORLD, as someone who is not between the age of 1 and 22, thinking that you’re a messianic inventor is only going to hurt you, because until you write the bible or invent wireless electricity, everyone is going to be thinking “Why does this gal think she’s the cat’s meow?” or even worse “That guy is a stuck up dick.”

I know it sucks, but now that you’re done with that half-gallon of cookies & cream and all cried out, let’s focus on what we can we do to make life better:

1) Accept the fact that you’re a regular person . There are 6 billion people in the world. You’re one of them. Accept that and realize it’s NOT SO BAD. The fact that you’re reading this means you have access to a computer, you can READ, and I bet you even have a bathroom. Every morning you can take a shower. You have a whole room devoted to cleaning yourself and shitting. Furthermore, you’re not an ant or a bird or bacon — we could be eating you, but we’re not. Being a regular human is pretty great.

2) Be Good At Doing Things. Who do you think is awesome and special? Most likely, these people are great at doing stuff. Maybe they’re great at building bridges or cooking or digging holes… maybe they do things that make YOUR life better (like prescribing you medicine). Or maybe they help you forget about how not special you are and can write amazing lists. Regardless, whatever you’re good at, DO IT, and keep doing it, and get better at it, and don’t let anyone get in the way of stopping you from doing it, because these are the real people trying to stop you from being special.

3) Know Lots of People. If you’re good at doing things, you need other people around to benefit from them. Great at throwing parties? Sucks to not have any guests. Who cares if you can build a bridge if no one walks over it? Try to figure out something people do that does not involve other people…give up? Because human beings EXIST for other human beings. Having lots of people will also make you feel better about being a normal person because you’ll look at them and go “Oh shit, they’re not Mozart meets Dick Cheney!” Or maybe they are like Mozart and Dick Cheney! In which case, maybe you can figure out some smart shit to do like them, and become a better person.

4) Be Humble. So, back to Mozart for a second — he was probably the greatest musician to ever live. He died in debt, alienated from his wife, and in his 30s. Guess why? Because he had a huge ego and was a dick to people (like the King of Austria). So, if you do become special like Mozart, remember that you’re still just a human being, still one of 6 billion, and yeah… you can write some fancy notes and play music like God… but no one wants to hang out with someone who thinks they’re God. And from a purely pragmatic standpoint, thinking you’re God does not make you better at doing things. In fact, it makes you worse. See #2.

5) Help People. If you help people, you will know more people (#3). You will also “feel good” about yourself. You will also remember to remain humble. You will also make the world a better place. You can do it because the bible says to do it, too, if you dig that book. And if you hate religion, help people anyway, because being alone and selfish sucks.

The fact is, we can all be special, but only if we do things, stay humble, help people, and accept ourselves as being human. I may not be Billy Mays meets El Ron Hubbard yet, but I’m going to keep trying until I create my own stain removing religion.

By Ben Fast

Previously:

One thought on “A Friendly Ego Check

  1. There’s actually over 7 billion people in the world. Has been since 2011. We’re even less special than you think 🙂

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