Relationship limbo. We have ALL been there. That place between ‘yeah, we’re talking…’ and ‘Official Boyfriend/Girlfriend’. Wondering “how can I over-analyze his ‘like’ on my beach bod selfie?” Well, quit picking petals off of the ‘will he text me, will he not’ flower and see if any of the below will help calm your pre-commitment nerves.
10. Keep busy!
If he is too busy to hang out, then occupy your time as well. If he can’t hang out on Tuesday because of work and wants to reschedule for Friday, remind him you’re going dancing with the girls! Don’t cater your plans to a new man. Let him know you have other priorities in your life too, and that dating him isn’t the sole occupant of your time.
9. Patience is a virtue.
Let him text you after the date. If you can’t help yourself, then you may silently stalk away on Facebook or Instagram to get your fix, but keep those paws off of that phone! The result is so much more rewarding. Believe me, if it’s right and he’s into it too, he won’t be able to resist thanking you for ‘dessert.’ If you don’t hear from him for a week after… move on, you’re probably being booty-called.
8. Charm his friends.
If you can get the stamp of approval from your guy’s friends, it’s a pretty solid in. Keep the flirting to a minimum (of course), but take an interest in them one-on-one when you’re all out for drinks. You never know, but these people could be in your life for a while if you play your cards right.
7. Be a good listener.
This counts the most on the first few dates. Of course its easy to want to make yourself look good by chatting up your resume, travel experiences etc. But indulge in his interests and ask questions about them. Be open-minded and don’t feel silly about having him educate you on his career or hobbies.
6. Keep your legs closed.
If there’s any one thing I’ve learned from dating it’s that sleeping with someone on the very first date hardly EVER leads to a second. If you haven’t spent enough time getting to know each other but proceed to jump into the sack, then that’s all he’ll get to know. Let the other person grow attached to you on a personal level before moving into the physical element. Once you set that bar low, it’s hard to raise it. For him the mission has already been accomplished, and he’ll move right along to the next.
5. Don’t over-step your boundaries.
As women it’s easy to want to cozy up and be domestic by date six or seven. Be careful doing this without permission because it could push him away. Leaving things like clothes or a toothbrush at a guys place can make him feel like the honeymoon period is over, even if it’s by accident. Be sure to respect his boundaries and make sure he knows to do the same at your place!
4. Keep things interesting.
Don’t become ‘that boring couple’ too quickly. Go on date adventures or step outside of your comfort zone by trying something new in the bedroom. Keeping him on his toes will keep the relationship fresh and interesting. Avoid constant ‘movies on the couch night;’ save those for the six-month anniversary. I know this is hard advice to take, but I promise it will keep him on the edge of his seat.
3. Don’t kiss and tell.
Guys don’t need to know your number, nor do you need to know his. The less they know about your sexual past the more of an imagination you can use in the bedroom. Telling a guy your number only gives him reason to speculate how much of a prude or trollop you are. That’s right, I called some of you a trollop!
2. Men are simple creatures.
Seriously, they are. Reading into texts, Facebook posts or Instagram likes are going to drive you CRAZY. So just don’t. Trust your instincts! If you sense he is slipping away, he very well may be. If this becomes the case, put the ball in his court and let fate take its course. Do you really want to start off a relationship with worry and jealousy? Let him make the effort and if he doesn’t, then its not meant to be.
1. When it’s meant to work out, it will be effortless.
If at the beginning you are finding yourself doing most of the planning and communicating, then ABORT the mission. This will not be the relationship for you. A relationship is a team effort and both sides will put as much heart into it as they feel it deserves. Guys know when you are trying harder than them to make things work, which can end up only pushing them away even more. Beginning a relationship should not be a struggle, and both parties should enjoy and encourage putting in the time and planning to make a future together.
By Lori Gottlieb
- “One Man’s Take On Meeting Girls” by Curtis Spiliotis
- “Friends With Benefits vs Healthcare Benefits” by Ben Fast
- “From Mom: 7 Key Relationship Tips for My Daughters” by A Mom