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How To Survive Attending A Wedding

I’ve had a lot of downtime recently (shhhh! unemployment) and my brain has been thinking WAY too hard for someone who doesn’t have a job. I’m starting to realize things are happening around me without my control. My parents have more wrinkles/less memory, it’s harder to lose those last 5 pounds, and everyone is getting married.

I feared this.

I’m only 24 and have ALREADY been invited to five weddings. Just to give you an idea of how serious this is…I’ll be attending two weddings this month.

I’m proposing a working list of wedding survival tips for all those single twenty-somethings who will be stuck attending their friend’s weddings for the next ten years. Learn from my mistakes, children. I’ll save you:

  • DO NOT OVER-DRINK. For someone who’s in their 20s, an open bar can be quite jarring. Stick to one type of alcohol, or you’ll end up like HER.
  • PRE SCREEN YOUR +1. This person should be fun, outgoing, and hilarious. You totally want to laugh together at the goofy toasts, or break it down on the dance floor. The worst date is someone who doesn’t like to dance. Sorry you’re not fun, but a non-dancer shouldn’t be allowed at weddings. It’s also important this person can be left alone throughout the night. Being a wedding date AND exceptionally outgoing is a must! And although Debra Messing made it cute and funny, hiring a male escort as your date is STILL weird…   Disclaimer: Always bring a date if you are offered a +1 because you could end up like me– my brother was mistaken for my date at the last wedding. We sat at a table full of couples. Sorry we don’t look alike people. GAWD so embarrassing….
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My brother and I. It was a pirate themed wedding…

  • WEAR OLD DRESSES AND MAKE THEM NEW. I went to every dance in high school and every sorority formal in college. I have a billion dresses, and so do you. Recycle these barely worn beauties by going to H&M and buying new jewels. Don’t ever bitch about not having anything to wear because accessories can change any look. We are all in our 20′s and on a budget. Excuses are for boring people. Make it work. Don’t worry everyone. I have a working list on my iPhone. From what I’ve gathered so far, this shit is exactly like Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses.
  • THE DANCE FLOOR IS NOT AN AEROBICS CLASS. I slowly began to realize that my Zumba moves DID NOT translate to wedding atmosphere. Although I was CRUSHING IT, my hair and face were gym sweaty with attractive, single groomsmen a mere arms length away. At my next wedding, I will make sure to tone down the hip action and stick with mostly hair choreography. You’re welcome.

By Jillian Leff

Check out Jillian’s blog here.

One thought on “How To Survive Attending A Wedding

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