Learning To Like Yourself in Your 20s

I turned twenty-five last year, and with it came my quarter-life crisis and the realization of, “Wow, I’m supposed to be an adult now or something.” Not only that, but I suddenly realized how much time I had spent not liking myself in the first half of my twenties. I was constantly trying to be skinnier or to make my skin look perfect. I wasted so much energy on wishing I was something I wasn’t that I couldn’t see how important it was to like myself in the current moment. I now see pictures of myself at 21 and think, “Damn, I thought I was fat when I really wasn’t.” So finally, at 25 years old, I decided that I was going to like myself. Not only that, I was going to embrace myself.

The first part of embracing myself and being an adult means that I’m wearing lipstick now. I’m calling this phase of my life “My Adventures With Lipstick.” If you haven’t tried out the world of lipstick yet, well I suggest you get into it ASAP. You will instantly feel like you were put on this earth to be fabulous. Or you’ll feel really awkward and like an imposter, which was honestly my first emotion. But no one else knows this is your first time wearing lipstick, so I’m telling you to just do it.

One of the first times I wore lipstick out casually, I was asked, “Where’s the party at?” at one in the afternoon at a 7-11. Seriously. This is a direct result of lipstick. I rarely look like someone who knows “where the party is at,” nonetheless being someone who actually knows where it is- believe me.

Part of liking myself in my twenties also means that there are things I needed to stop doing and things I needed to start accepting. I’ve stopped constantly feeling the need to be “skinnier” or have the imagined “perfect body” and I think I have finally accepted my body for what it is, and what it will never be.

I’ve also accepted that I’m just not someone who runs. Hot yoga is how I prefer to sweat because it doesn’t make me feel like my lungs are on fire or like I want to die. I don’t have anything against people who run, I’ve just stopped trying to make it my thing.

I make a conscious effort not to let myself fall into “I am so ugly today” moods because I know when I’m 40 I am going to look back at me now and think, “holy crap, I looked really good.” The one thing I’m not going to accept though is that I’m never going to be Beyonce. A girl can still dream, right?

I think the point of this is to encourage other women in their twenties to simply start liking themselves. Start embracing yourself! Acknowledge that you are unique, you’re beautiful, and that you are woman and you can roar. Experiment with things like lipstick or platform sneakers.

Stop being afraid.

Be quirky, embrace your weird, be yourself.

Look really hot and don’t apologize for it. It’s way more fun and far less draining than hating yourself, trust me. If nothing else, some day you’re going to be able to whip out a picture of yourself and tell your kids “Once upon a time, I was cool and I looked really fucking good.”

By the way, I’m far from embracing being a full-fledged adult. Maybe in my 30’s…

By Kaycee Snowden


2 thoughts on “Learning To Like Yourself in Your 20s

  1. I bought a really, really bright pink lipstick yesterday, to add to my new collection of deep purple and deep red. Before when I bought lipstick they were stupidly ‘lip’ coloured ones because I was too shy. I can’t believe what I had been missing out on by not wearing brighter lipsticks. Suddenly I looked brighter, more approachable and hell, cooler! All wishy-washy shades are going in the bin tonight.

  2. Pingback: Lessons I Learned From My College Roommate | Q L C

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