Meeting people, especially women, has changed a lot from what it used to be in the past to what it is now. Take college: it was easy; you already had the same tastes in school in common to start of with. During college and even sometimes after college you were allowed to do the “hey, we are both wasted at this bar!” thing and meet people that way. You were allowed to drunkenly embarrass yourself a little and a girl would laugh it off and still talk to you.
Now that has changed; you can’t be drunk or she won’t take you seriously, you have to compose yourself. And you have to have a little edge to you so she is interested to talk to you again. So what are the best ways to do this to meet people? That is the question I find asking myself at 26.
In my life right now there are two common ways of meeting a new lady: getting introduced through a friend, or out at night at a bar or club.
Being introduced through friends is probably the best way, and most popular way of meeting someone of the opposite sex to build a possible relationship with. Instead of some floozy you meet at the bar, friends of friends are considered real relationship starters. Being introduced through friends is saying ‘this guy is cool’ and it automatically gives the ‘he is not a psychopath card,’ simply because he has one friend who will introduce him to others. He has already passed one test. You don’t do that with people who suck.
That is the preferred method because this is the safe bet. Bars tend to be the other most popular way people in their mid twenties meet members of the opposite sex to have relations with. But this way is frowned upon most times for meeting a possible mate.
I don’t know why girls shy away from this! If you made a connection with this guy on your own, with no middle man, I think that is stronger. I have heard so many girls say “you are not meeting Mr. Right at a bar.” I have one question: why the fuck not? Why does that location shut things down for a girl?
Let’s talk about approaching girls in other places. Approaching a girl at the gym, or at a mall, or at a park, or at a gun range as she fires off some rounds is weird to me. [ed. note: no, don’t approach a girl OR guy while she/he is shooting a gun] I feel like I’m distracting you from your set plan at that location.
But a bar is a social scene. It is meant for socializing. And since you and I are both there at the same place to socialize, we’re are already on the same page; we have both said indirectly just from being there, “it is ok to talk to me.” Those other places have a distinct “I’d rather not be bothered” undertone that scares me.
I know it seems like I have a lot of negativity towards meeting new people, but I don’t. I really enjoy meeting new people, I actually do. I just suck at it at times.
….And besides, it’s not unheard of for a girl to approach a guy, right?
By Curtis Spiliotis
- “Guys Perspective: Truth And Lies – How to Make Relationship Magic” – by Ben Fast
- “Shit You Don’t Say” – by Team QLC